new years

i'm sitting at one of the restuarants in the downtown area of fayetteville. i'm drinking a cold beer and waiting for the waitress to come take my order. i need to stop being so nervous and shy. i should stop looking around me anxiously. i need to be in control and be cool. i would have liked to go to the microbrew bar down the street but that place is crowded. its full of very nicely dressed people. i would feel out of place. i think the waitress is avoiding me. most of the people act like its cold but it feels warm to me. man i'd like to meet a girl but i'm so goddamn shy.  most of the girls i've seen are with other guys. i keep getting the feeling that i look stupid sitting out here all by myself and that people walking by me are laughing a me. but the beer is making me feel good. there have been a few fireworks going off which is nice to watch. i got an ipod for christmas so i'm sitting here listening to my audio books. i imagine that gives me some comfort. i wonder how i should get the waitress' attention. she seems to be very busy in there. i need to remember that i naturally look like a very mature somber person. if i just act natural i should make a pretty cool picture of a relaxed person injoying a meal on new years.